All Posts Tagged 'stand-up' (63)

I Am My Mother's Daughter

"Mammy, can I have ice cream?" I was stood outside a shop in my home town of Shettleston pointing at the Walls Ice Cream display as the scorching sun slowly melted the tar on the pavement and stuck to my brown plastic sandals.…

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Added by Janey Godley on April 12, 2014 at 15:01 — No Comments

The Underbelly Fringe Ghost of 2003

 

"This venue feels really creepy" My daughter Ashley said to me when we stumbled over the wet cobble stones up to the main door of the Underbelly venue in Edinburgh. It was the fringe 2003 and the Underbelly was a giant four or five storey…

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Added by Janey Godley on September 15, 2013 at 16:40 — No Comments

Summer time in Glasgow 1970

"Get out there, the sun is splitting the trees" my mammy would say, it's an old Glasgow saying. I was nine years old living in the East End of Glasgow. Our school summer holidays were so different from the kids today. These pampered children who have play schemes, play dates and a…

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Added by Janey Godley on July 21, 2013 at 15:16 — No Comments

My Life with a man who has Aspergers.

"Who washed the dishes?" my husband asked last week.  I put up my hand and said wearily "I did, what did I do wrong?" he sighed, rolled his eyes and brought me through by the hand to show me that I had stacked the plates facing the right instead of his preferred left. I promptly fixed them as he stared at them closely to check they were done right. He gave me a…

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Added by Janey Godley on July 11, 2013 at 0:30 — No Comments

My father's day

Sunday will come and go and I will miss father's day as am off to London. So here is my tribute to my dad, don't worry he is still alive and kicking at 80 years old.

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Added by Janey Godley on June 15, 2013 at 17:50 — No Comments

This is me

I HAD cause to be in the Western Infirmary's accident and emergency unit in Glasgow recently. A huge fat teenager in his best sports wear (maybe he was in training for the forthcoming Commonwealth Games, in the running-with-a-knife event?) came in behind me. He obviously wasn't getting the immediate attention he deserved, what with his swagger (maybe he had a dislocated hip?) anyway....I disliked him because he sneered at me.…

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Added by Janey Godley on May 21, 2013 at 18:38 — No Comments

Life sucks sometimes...

So there I was finally on a train to London with my happy daughter Ashley. We travel well together, she has tour managed me in Australia and NZ so she knows when to shut up and when to make me tea. We sat in the first class bit of the Virgin train, listening to music and then I checked my twitter feed to find out Thatcher had died and I announce it loudly to the…

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Added by Janey Godley on April 16, 2013 at 21:16 — No Comments

Why do I panic about RockNess Festival?

Me and my stand up comedy daughter Ashley Storrie are doing the comedy stage at RockNess, despite the press releases mistakenly calling her Ashley Godley and me Janey Godle....yes I know sounds like 'coddle', ok typos aside....am worried.

 

Glastonbury was amazing when I performed there a few times, but the flooding and extreme cold and the day Ashley jumped into a bloated stream to save…

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Added by Janey Godley on March 19, 2013 at 20:07 — No Comments

You are either out or you are in

I was in a supermarket in London last month.

 

I watched three young children, around five or six years old, sliding up and down the store squealing and pulling stuff off the shelves. They were like chattering, screaming meerkats on a hunt through the Kalahari Desert.

 

I looked for the parents and spotted…

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Added by Janey Godley on March 15, 2013 at 21:17 — 1 Comment

First Class Godley

I love the train, it gets busy at half term time, like it did when I came home from London recently. I got my ticket ready, this time it was easy to find.

 

The new system is you get to print out your own ticket which is an A4 sheet with a scan code on it, much better than 58 wee orange tickets we normally get, so am happy about this. Anyway, I got into the first class carriage and sat…

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Added by Janey Godley on February 18, 2013 at 21:12 — No Comments

Taxing Times.

“A make-up brush costs £30? Is it made of gold?” my husband shouted and threw up both his hands when he was observing me logging my tax return.

 

He rolls his eyes and makes that huffing noise and shakes his head at me. I have boxes of receipts, so you can imagine how many theatrical displays he has been through. 

His physical theatre and dance…

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Added by Janey Godley on February 12, 2013 at 18:36 — No Comments

Travels & Trivia

Kuala Lumpur is where I went for one nights work. That's normal for a comedian, what's not normal is trying to explain that you are a female comic to Muslim women from Saudi Arabia on the flight over to Malaysia.

 

I still get a slight shock at seeing women with black gloves, socks and every inch of flesh covered in black material. I find it fascinating and try not to stare and…

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Added by Janey Godley on February 8, 2013 at 8:51 — No Comments

On a plane

                                       
 You know how you think back to things and with hindsight you wonder why you didn't react differently? Looking back I should have punched the man in the tweed suit.....here's what happened.

 

Back in 1996 I was flying to London to see my pals and do some open spot comedy gigs. I was super excited and…

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Added by Janey Godley on January 15, 2013 at 22:00 — No Comments

The Woman On The Street.

 

It was Christmas 1974 and Shettleston was knee deep in thick hard snow. The cold seeped in through the badly designed council window frames and the coal strikes coupled with the 3 day week, made us all feel what Russia must be like. We were hungry and freezing.

 

My mum and dad had just split up and it was rough going, the bedroom was chittering cold and my mum was deeply…

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Added by Janey Godley on December 24, 2012 at 16:47 — No Comments

It Happened To Me

 

"Let's go camping" my husband said. I didn't want to go, we bought the tent as I had been performing at Glastonbury and living in a cramped nylon box taught me this 'I don't like camping' So we compromised and we went camping.

 

Husband loves going up the highlands and I like it was well, especially when the sun shines and the tiny mosquitoes die…

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Added by Janey Godley on December 3, 2012 at 14:30 — No Comments

Love and Lost Passport

 

You know that deep happy love feeling when you wake up and think your stomach will explode with excitement and you want to tell this person you love absolutely every thought, fear or desire but think it's best not to, because when the love fades and the s*** hits the fan they might use it against you in a future argument?

 

That's not love, that's endorphins & a hormone…

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Added by Janey Godley on November 29, 2012 at 20:53 — 1 Comment

Major and Me

 

“Ma, can I get a Bay City Roller Jumper - they are selling them at the Co-op for £1.99?” I shouted through the toilet door to my mammy. "Everybody has one" I added.





My dog Major was at my feet begging to be taken out for a pee, his toe nails were scratching and clicking on the cold lino. Maybe he heard my Ma peeing and this set him off.





“Where will I get two…

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Added by Janey Godley on November 20, 2012 at 13:35 — 2 Comments

Toronto & Dogs

 

Yes, a big husky dog did try to have sex with me at the traffic crossing, am telling you- weird things happen here in Toronto. Here's what happened, I was standing at a busy traffic crossing on my way to Yuk Yuk's comedy club, beside me a young guy backpacker had a huge grey and white gorgeous husky wolf dog on a lead. The dog stared at me, I made eye contact and it kind of dog smiled and leapt on me with sexual intentions (clearly the eye contact was a…

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Added by Janey Godley on October 17, 2012 at 21:39 — No Comments

Things I did as a kid...

 

Back in the late 60s and 70s we didn’t have mobile phones or computer games, our politicians were toffy old upper class English men who sailed yachts (oh hang on that is today as well) and our pop charts were dominated with men in their 40s singing about Love and Marriage or stabbing women to death who happened to laugh at you and had the unfortunate name Delilah. It was different times.

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Added by Janey Godley on September 29, 2012 at 18:01 — No Comments

Corporate Comedy and its Downside

People who get together at an event and hire an after dinner speaker for a wad load of cash deserve a good night. I am not writing here to berate the after dinner speakers circuit - I won after Dinner Speaker of The Year and beat 9 men to the title. I like after dinner speaking: to me it's a way of doing comedy in a nice dress to people who normally wouldn't come out to a comedy club and hopefully giving them a taste for it.…



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Added by Janey Godley on September 21, 2012 at 10:43 — No Comments

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